The "Spirit" of Yoga

So, tomorrow is the last day of the 30 day yoga challenge, and I accumulated 14 classes of the 26 I needed. Not as impressive as I would have hoped, but if you average it out, that is a yoga practice about every other day...which is impressive. It got me to wondering...if I had merely dedicated myself to practicing every other day rather than trying to rack up doubles and such to hit 26, would my body and spirit have held up better? Perhaps if I had realized my limitations and accepted my body for what it is at the start of all this, I could have ended it in a better place.  So, I learned something!

I would like to give a shout out to Kimberly Loll, though! (Awesome yogi and author at the blog Sisters in Blogging)  She has two more days to complete her challenge, and I can't wait to see how far she gets! Her resolve and willingness to take her Child's Pose when she needed it were amazing! Good luck, Kim-- finish strong!

But back to the "spirit" part of all this...Last weekend I accepted that I wasn't going to force yoga anymore (finally, right?).  So when my amazing husband surprised me with an amazing weekend in Memphis, TN, I didn't force waking up early to drive around town looking for the one yoga studio he had found online; instead, I decided to sleep in with my husband and go enjoy breakfast at the most wonderful little cafe on 2nd street.

And my spirit thanked me.

I've often wondered about the spirit's connection to yoga.  So many people connect the idea of "spirit" to religion, and many people are hesitant to "buy into" yoga because of all the "spiritual mumbo-jumbo" that they perceive yoga to be based on.  But I think it's important to recognize that while some one's spirituality can inform his/her practice of yoga, it is distinctly separate from that person's spirit.\

Spirit has so many connotations in our society.  It can be based on our religion (ie. the "holy spirit"); it can also be based on our excitement or passion (ie. "spirit squad"); it can be based on a liveliness (ie. "she has so much spirit"); it can be about real and intended meaning (ie. "the spirit of the law").  I also believe and operate under the assumption that it can represent our essence-- My spirit is the essence of who I am as a person.  Healthy or ailing, happy or sad, empty or full...it is my responsibility to take care of my spirit.

In that sense, I truly think that the spirit is yoga.  Yoga is the time we take on our mat to dedicate to our breath (finding balance and calm), our body (finding health and flexibility), and our mind (to focus on positive thoughts and healing).  When we consider all of those things together, we are taking that time to repair and take care of our spirits-- of ourselves.

None of that has to do with religion or faith.  It can do with religion or faith, if you choose for it to do so.  If your spirit, your essence, is rooted in a strong faith, then you will bring that to your mat.  Then your meditation, your breathing, your practice will reflect that faith. Your spirit will feel stronger because of that faith. I am a woman of faith, and I like to believe that my spirit and my faith are intertwined, and my yoga practice makes both stronger.

But, if you do not have strong faith in a religion, or any faith at all, does that mean that  yoga is inaccessible? is crazy zealotry? mumbo jumbo? No. If you think that, I encourage you to scroll back a few paragraphs. No matter what religion, philosophy, or doctrine you choose to follow or believe in, no matter if your life is faith based or science based or both, yoga is about spending the time on you to improve, repair, and take care of you. 

Your spirit-- the essence of who you are-- deserves that care.

~Namaste~

 

Yoga is a Journey

About a week and a half ago, the pain started up again.  I was at practice #11 of my 26 in 30 days...2 practice away from my half way mark, when I noticed that Chaturanga was sending excruciating pain through my arm and wrist. By the time I went to bed, I thought I had broken it.  I tried practice #12...on my forearms and knees...and it became clear that I just couldn't do it.

It took the very wise and firm words of a good friend, a good husband, a good teacher, and a good mom to finally convince me to not go to practice the next day.  I had become so fixated on the challenge, so fixated on the number of days in a row that I needed to be on my mat, and the number of days I needed to do doubles in order to achieve my 26 classes in 30 days, that I had become burned out.

My body was burned out. My pain was already making my practice difficult before the challenge started, but somehow I thought that doing yoga every day (and sometimes twice a day!) would make me feel better...that somehow I'd become some super buff yogi chick who could do poses I had only dreamed of.  It did make me feel better for a while, but with little to no recovery time, my body (and my mother!) started telling me loudly that I needed a break.  But I wasn't listening to my body...

My mind was burned out.  I was thinking too much.  I know that yoga is not about competition or forcing anything. Yoga is about acceptance. It is supposed to make you feel good. It is about peace.  It is not about the asanas-- it is about the calm that you feel after you practice. I know that. But my mind was too tired to think about it.  I wanted to finish this challenge. I wanted to prove-- mostly to myself-- that I could do it.  My pain and injuries have already taken away so much. I can't run or exercise like most people.  I can't even rock climb anymore...I felt like giving up on the challenge would be giving up on myself.  My mind (and my good friend, Amy) was trying to remind me what yoga is. But I wasn't listening to my mind...

My spirit was burned out.  I didn't want to be at the studio anymore.  I was resenting the 35 minute commute to and from another town.  I stopped looking forward to yoga, but for some reason I kept forcing myself to go...because of the challenge.  My husband wanted me to stop going-- stop tainting the one thing I had come to enjoy. He wanted me to take a break and rest so that I could look forward to the time I gave myself on my mat.  I wanted to enjoy other aspects of life-- focus on my classroom, my students, my home, my friends-- without feeling guilty for missing yoga.  My spirit needed some alone time with me. But I wasn't listening to my spirit...

I finally gave in to my body, my mind, and my spirit and emailed my instructor.  And she told me to LISTEN TO MY BODY AND MY SPIRIT!!  So, I took a week off.  And it was glorious.  I stayed late at school and caught up in my classroom.  I went to a student football game.  I saw family and wasn't exhausted for a night out.  While I am still trying to accumulate as many practices as I can by September 30th, I will not be able to achieve 26 unless I do doubles every other day, which cannot happen. So, I need to be ok with that. Yoga is acceptance of what is, at this moment.

In coming to terms with the fact that I would not complete the challenge, I started to wonder what exactly I was supposed to learn from the challenge.  Is it a physical challenge? Very few athletic endeavors encourage you to practice constantly with little recovery time.  While is is physically challenging, I don't think that's it.  Is it a challenge to see how dedicated I am? I'm not sure that is it either.  I was dedicated to the point of hurting myself. It took multiple people to convince me to "give up," and yet I didn't feel successful.  What kind of challenge is it, then?

It took "giving up"...or more to the point-- LETTING GO...to realize the challenge.  The challenge was to accept myself as I am, limitations and all...to listen to my body and learn, more than ever, what yoga really is.  Yoga is about being in the world and not of it. It is about living in the moment and accepting the body God gives you at any given time.  Some days God might give me a stronger or more capable body than other days.  But, I need to do the best with what I have that day, and most importantly, I need to accept that what I am doing at any moment is good enough. 

That is my challenge...and I don't think I've completed it yet.  My yoga is a journey.

"The greatest success is doing what you love and believing that’s enough."

~@Lori_Deschene~